so that wasnt chicken after all
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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