i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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