There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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