i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I will be naked everywhere
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
