I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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