I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
