the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
BRING THE BAGELS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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