I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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