Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sarcasm needs its own font
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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