she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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