I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
