Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
