Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
