he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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