So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
