Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
