i wish my penis had a tongue
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
