She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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