It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
