I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
