i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
