I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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