Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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