i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
