Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm at about main and main street
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
