And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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