YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
