Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
