Porn is love you can see.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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