You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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