He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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