I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
