I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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