Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
