.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
