Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
