He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
