JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
