You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
