He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
