Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
