So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
try to milk me bitch
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
