Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
