I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
