its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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