Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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