So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
