Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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