Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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