If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
