Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
