Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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