this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
