it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
