well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
soo... how was my night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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