Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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